Open Keys

I could write about many things, but instead I think I will relate the fact that for the second consecutive day, I locked my keys in the car. The details are inconsequential, and it’s a story everyone has heard before, so let’s start discussing solutions. In computing the key [pun] to failsafe systems is redundancy, so I have decided to take the same approach with the entry system to my car.

I’m going to allow anyone who thinks they would be willing to hold on to a key to my car to apply by email to receive a copy free in the mail. Only requirements are a name, phone number, and meeting my secret requirement which I will not disclose here.

Now I’m sure many of you are concerned with the security model of having numerous copies of my car keys floating around, but the manufacturer (Chevy) of my vehicle already thought of this, separating the entry and ignition functions into two separate keys. This has its advantages and disadvantages, as evidenced by the Saturday lockout when I had my ignition key but not the entry key. Access to my vehicle is something I’m willing to allow because trustees of the keys will be people I trust not to steal something from my car in the first place.

I have a number of people “pre-approved” for keys, including my parents, Grandmother, sister Charleen, Josh, Sarah, Sarah, Rachel, Rene, Rebbecca, Elissa, Iram, Mat, Chris, extended family, and selected staff at Kaveh Kanes, Tropioca, and Get Wired, but like I said before anyone is eligible. These people have been carefully selected for proximity and accessibility—at any given point in my life, I am never more than 5 minutes from at least one of these people. So there you have it! A trade-off of security versus accessibility in real life. We’ll see how this goes…

These limited edition PhotoMatt keys will be accompanied by a Certificate of Authenticity and will be available in several styles to complement any key ring. They will also be hand tested by yours truly to verify that they truly work. Get yours while they’re hot. (Limit one per person.)

9 thoughts on “Open Keys

  1. you are too trusting, Matt. 🙂 i won’t sign up because i’d probably lose it, too… so i’ll just observe… and whenever i see you, i’ll just ask you if you’ve got your keys. LOL

    you like Tropioca? i find their tapoica balls to be too gritty, however, sans tapioca balls, it’s really tasty!!!

    do you like pho (Vietnamese beef noodle soup… and it’s pronounced fuuhhhh, as in “fun”), too? i often go to Pho Saigon, which is next door to Tropioca, on Milam. i haven’t gone there in a while because if i go Downtown, my lunch usually goes over an hour… so i just stick what’s around Greenway Plaza and go to Cafe Express a lot.

  2. I want a key! Just because I like having random keys. And it could come in handy this summer or over spring break or something.

  3. Rachel, send me your mailing address and one will be on its way.

    Kathy, I’ll have to try out that place by Tropioca. When I’ve been there lately I haven’t been that hungry, but it’s not that far from UH so I’ll give it a go. I can probably get Tropioca’s internet connection there too :). What do you recommend?

  4. oh, yeah, Tropioca has free internet! i forgot about that!

    as for recommendations… i recommend Pho Tai Chin or Pho Tai Chin Nac (i think that’s what they’re called)… it’s basically beef brisket (thinly sliced meat). that’s what i get because i love the beef broth, but don’t like a whole lot of meat. Christine (bigpinkcookie) says that someone told her it reminds her of dirty socks. and i must admit, it looks like it (and sometimes smells like it) but it’s soooooo good! and it’s really good to eat when it’s cold like this outside.

  5. my name is elissa, you know my phone number, you know my address, and i meet that secret requirement: i have nice (small, but proportionate) boobs.

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  7. Pho is dirty sock water. Don’t believe Kathy. However, I want a key just so I can say I had one when you become famous. And I want to see the certificate of authenticity.