First Father’s Day

This is my first father’s day without my father. His memories and spirit have been very present with me the past week, but today is still tough. Miss you, Dad, and I will continue to try and make you proud.


12 thoughts on “First Father’s Day

  1. tt the first few years are really hard, but over time, with all the happy memories you we all still miss our Dads but you begin to feel, then know theya re never very far away in your heart soul and genes. THinking of all those familities from Orlando and other tragedies struggling his #fatherday too. I choose to believe #lovewins

  2. Hi Matt, The best I can offer are the lyrics to In The Living Years. It’s what on my mine as I approached this Father’s Day. With kindest regards, Fred Parry

    “The Living Years”
    Every generation
    Blames the one before
    And all of their frustrations
    Come beating on your door

    I know that I’m a prisoner
    To all my Father held so dear
    I know that I’m a hostage
    To all his hopes and fears
    I just wish I could have told him in the living years

    Crumpled bits of paper
    Filled with imperfect thought
    Stilted conversations
    I’m afraid that’s all we’ve got

    You say you just don’t see it
    He says it’s perfect sense
    You just can’t get agreement
    In this present tense
    We all talk a different language
    Talking in defense

    Say it loud, say it clear
    You can listen as well as you hear
    It’s too late when we die
    To admit we don’t see eye to eye

    So we open up a quarrel
    Between the present and the past
    We only sacrifice the future
    It’s the bitterness that lasts

    So don’t yield to the fortunes
    You sometimes see as fate
    It may have a new perspective
    On a different date
    And if you don’t give up, and don’t give in
    You may just be O.K.

    Say it loud, say it clear
    You can listen as well as you hear
    It’s too late when we die
    To admit we don’t see eye to eye

    I wasn’t there that morning
    When my Father passed away
    I didn’t get to tell him
    All the things I had to say

    I think I caught his spirit
    Later that same year
    I’m sure I heard his echo
    In my baby’s new born tears
    I just wish I could have told him in the living years

    Say it loud, say it clear
    You can listen as well as you hear
    It’s too late when we die
    To admit we don’t see eye to eye

  3. This post hit me hard today. I just got back from visiting my dad in the nursing home. Alzheimer’s – which worsened exponentially after a recent surgery – has taken every shred of who my dad was away; he’s gone but not gone. It’s so painful to see it and feel so powerless against it. I know exactly what you’re feeling today and it is tough. πŸ™

  4. This is my 33rd father’s day since my father died. It was by far my least favorite day of the year until I had my own kids, celebrating their own dad. It’s ok now. Love to you.

  5. My heart goes out to you in your grieving,. It never goes away but over time you learn to cope with it better. They are always with us.

  6. I lost my father when I was just 8 years old and since then (1984) until seven years ago it was really… Bad!
    Seven years ago I became a proud father or a girl. Two years ago, my son was born.

    I guess I totally agree with @aggiezoe.

    Having my own family brought a new me to the world.
    I don’t speak very fluently english but let me try to say that the experience of paternity is something really difficult to explain in words, whatever the language you try to express yourself. You’ve got to live it to understand what really that means. (and by writing this, let me say that I believe that if one adopts a child, the feelings one would have the privilege to get would be the very same, yes I do.)

    Sometimes I use to say to some of my friends that, to be able to access some jobs in nowadays society, one should be required to be a father (or a mother).

    [I believe that for some jobs relating human resources and / or direct customer care, where employees need in fact to get really closer to the clients, the experience that parenthood / motherhood gives to a human being, will definitely work as ‘the’ higher education an investor should require for some of his employees.]

    You see “that” kind of empathy that customers look for when trying to reach people in customer care centers via phone and/or chat rooms?

    Try comparing the way an employee who already is a father/mother answers the customer to someone who isn’t father / mother yet.
    Try comparing the way that employees who are already fathers / mothers treat your customers to the employees who aren’t yet. πŸ˜‰

  7. Thirty-two and you have lost your father!!! I just read your post from last year – I lost mine 2 years ago now. He was 84. He lived a long, productive and happy happy very full life. I nursed him for the last 17 months of his life with my mom, as he had COPD. His struggle was similar to that of a cancer patient, we were told. He was so valiant. Like you, so much of my life and my path has been shaped through my father’s example. I miss him every single day. I cannot fathom your grief as you are just so young. I am 61 (almost – give me a couple of months). Likely the same age as your father. My daughters are in their 30’s and I cannot imagine how my passing would affect and change their lives. We are a resilient lot, but there is nothing as powerful as the relationship and bond built within one’s family and through all of the grief, there is deep thanks for that love.

    What led me here? I got a message from Vault Press about my website and read the footnote about Automattic, so looked it up. Curious about the founder, I looked you up. Of course you have a blog. πŸ™‚

    Proud? Your father is singing with the angels in heaven. I imagine he had lots of opportunities before his passing to tell you how proud he was. And I imagine you had so many opportunities before his passing to tell him how much he was loved. Somehow, I feel there was nothing unresolved between the two of you.

    Happy week, Matt.


  8. We’re feeling for you and your family, Matt. You’re obviously ‘Pressin’ on hard-core, as evidenced by the remarkable WordCamp Europe video, but it can’t be easy.

    We hope you can take comfort in the amount of people you help at every turn, every day. Thanks for sharing your myriad gifts and profound ideas via this motivating blog. Shine that light, “Mr. Motivator.” You’re rockin’ the world! πŸ™‚