Pun-A-Day #15

There was once an island kingdom whose people were all fabulously wealthy. Even though they could have afforded to live anywhere they wanted, tradition dictated they stay on their tiny island home. Eventually, their king became frustrated and called a meeting of the tribe’s elders. He said he wanted them to figure out a way he could enjoy his wealth, and stay within traditional guidelines. After much consideration, the elders suggested he build a magnificent throne. When he objected there was not enough room in his hut for a throne, the elders suggested he call in an engineer to solve the problem. Soon, the king’s tiny hut was rigged with an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys. He could lower the huge throne for use during the day, and at night, he could haul the throne up, and lower his bed. This was truly the best of both worlds for the king. Unfortunately, after a few months of constant use the roopes frayed, and one night, the throne slipped and came crashing down on the king, killing him. The wise men of the island recognized a lesson in this experience and added to the lore of their people this statement: “People who live in grass houses should not stow thrones.”

More updates when things slow down . . .

I’m Wired

Have you ever looked at your server logs and gone “Whoa s—“? Neither have I, but there has been a considerable spike in traffic from this article on Wired.com. The article deals with Apple’s viral marketing where they include a number of stickers or decals with every new Mac sold. The article is worth reading but if you’d like you can skip straight to the picture. I’d like to offer an extended caption: I’m sad to say that it is not my car, currently my car has a jazz sticker, a Free the Mouse! sticker, and a Redhat hat sticker. The picture was actually taken at my constant hangout House of Pies on Shepard, where I was eating with Julie, Rachel, and Josh. (Pictures) The car with that sticker was parked right outside of our window and my mind immediately went to my friend Alex who is an Apple enthusist, and how much he’d like it. So I snapped a picture (actually two) through the window. Leander Kahney found the picture through a Google search I mentioned recently. And there you have it. I just noticed that a thumbnail of the picture is on the front page!

Hah!

What do you say when Republicans dominate tech-friendly votes, except that I’m glad that the party that makes the most economic sense is evolving to align with my views on technology as well. The article is by Declan, which means it is excellent. Now all we need is a tech-savvy president. Vote for Matt in 2020! (At which time I’ll be 36, the youngest I’ll be able to run.)

Pun-A-Day #14

These two potatoes get married, and have a new potato. The new potato grows up, goes to college comes home and announces “I’m getting married!”
Momma potato says, “that’s wonderful, honey! Who’s the lucky boy?” The new potato replies, “I’m marrying Dan Rather!”
The father almost blows a gasket. “By God, No! You are not marrying Dan Rather!!!”
The new potato bursts out crying, and says “Why not??”
Papa potato says…………. “because he’s a common ’tater”

Today’s groan courtesy of Kelly Dean.

Block Those Ads

I’ve seen some pretty good host files in the past, but this one looks like the most thorough. Not sure where the name comes from though. “. . . so quite simply this file tells your computer to try to access itself whenever a banner advert is requested from a server that is in its ‘black’ list, so instead of contacting the advert server your computer simply tries to request itself and as your machine doesn’t contain any adverts (if you are not running a web server on it) nothing will be shown.”

TopStyle 3 again

Well I’ve gotten a copy of the 3.1 beta I mentioned in the previous post and I’m going to be doing a review of it for the Web Tech SIG sometime within the next couple of months. My initial impressions of the program are very good. The user interface is really well done. I’m going to start putting it through the heavy paces later tonight. My approach to reviewing this product is going to be to just throw my self into it, so I’m associating it with all the files it can possibly edit, I’ve edited the registry to make it the default source view for Internet Explorer, and I’m going to be using it for all the coding I’m going to be doing. I’ve found in the past that this is the best way to really get to know a product and its quirks. Wish me luck :).

Topstyle 3

I’m still on my eternal search for the perfect editor I’ve come across Topstyle 3 again. Topstyle has always been my favorite CSS editor by far, but I’m not sure how it would work for other things. It is from the creator of Homesite, which has been my favorite editor thus far. What has really caught my eye is the 3.1 beta includes PHP syntax highlighting, which might be the killer feature for me. Like I’ve said before, I actually really like the PHP editing in Dreamweaver, but I hate the rest of the junk that comes with using that program. I might just end up using what I do on the server, GNU/Emacs in PHP mode. Or even better yet, Pico :). Does anyone have any favorite editors? I probably spend the most time with PHP code, but I like a robust HTML editor, and long walks on the beach. Will I ever be happy?

ieSpell

ieSpell is a must have for people like me who are severely crippled by years of spell-check conditioning. I’m generally a pretty good speller, but there are some words I just alway mess up, and in formats such as this I usually don’t proofread anything too closely. ieSpell adds spell checking to all text boxes in Internet Explorer, so basically you have an web-application–independent way of checking your blog entries, forum posts, anything. Though some excellent web apps like b2/cafélog have spell checking built-in, I find this is much faster. Also I appreciate the ability to define my own custom dictionary for words that I use often and have it accessible across websites. Best of all, it’s only free dollars.

More Hidden Treasures

I just found a list that summarizes everything I possibly wanted circa 1997.

  • U2 CDs
  • 64 megs of memory
  • Awe 64 Sound card or USB speakers
  • Mark 6 alto saxophone
  • Stereo:
    • Radio turner and mixer
    • CD Changer
    • Turntable with stereo output
    • Double tape deck
  • Books: anything by Isaac Asimov
  • Cool mousepad
  • Flatbed color scanner
  • 3D video card
  • Computer games
    • Quake II
    • Starcraft
    • Command and Conquer II: Red Alert
  • Fast CD-ROM with digital support
  • Cool speakers for Dolby 4-channel surround sound
  • Big Monitor
  • Caller ID
  • USB Port

By the metric of this list, I’ve achieved almost 100% success. It’s remarkable how the material things we want can change so much over the years, and how material things in and of themselves can become so much less important. I wonder if I made a list now, how would I look at it in five years?

I Won!

I’m cleaning up my room, as I always do when the weather starts to get cold, and going through a drawer I found the most remarkable piece of paper. Apparently I had made a bet with my friend Lucas that George W. Bush was going to run for President. For posterity, here’s the entire text of the letter:

On 11-20-98 [we weren’t Y2K compatible] in World Geography with Mista [sic] Molloy, Lucas and Matthew made a $2 bet that George Bush Jr. will run for president.

[signature] Matthew Mullenweg | [signature] Lucas Spath

Matthew says he will
Lucas says he won’t

The person who is right gets the two dollars ($2)

We must have been quite bored to make the language that specific, but I guess next time I see Lucas I should hit him up for the money. I need to make more bets . . .

8 Ball, Corner Pocket

Just got back from Cue and Cushion, a nice pool hall on Shepard. Tonight was especially nice because I actually won. The music was good, thanks to Jaime, and everything was fun. Alex was making some really nice shots, but luck seemed to turn in my favor towards the end of every game. I’ve put some cool pictures from the pool hall, as well as a frog that lives at my house that I see sometimes. I’ve always heard stories about how my grandfather was very good at billiards and played it all throughout college, and part of me wants to emulate him and get really good at it. This night was definitely a big improvement, but I haven’t quite nailed down what I was doing different. Oh well, practice makes perfect.

Pun-A-Day #13

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom. The other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely. After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride broom leaned over and said to the groom broom, “I think I’m going to have a little whisk broom!!!”
“IMPOSSIBLE!!” said the groom broom….

“WE HAVEN’T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER.”

Pun-A-Day #12

A lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands, and the fire
crawled up her arm. Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked and took off
running down the street! A police car was at the intersection where it happened and he tried to stop
her to put out her arm, but she just kept running and screaming. So the officer shot her. This took everyone by surprise. The officer ran over to her and put the fire out, then called for an ambulance. When questioned about his course of action to stop her the officer said, “My only thought was for everyone’s safety. After all, she was waving a fire-arm.”

Best Dialog Message Ever

This lovely gem comes from Easy CD Creator 5 Platinum, and shows when you’re erasing a CD-RW

The remaining time listed is only an approximation. Some erases may take up to 10 minutes longer than what appears on the progress bar.

Update: Okay, I’ve decided this actually not the best dialog box ever even though it struck me as quite funny at the time, and anything will have a very hard time beating this message I got earlier this year.