Five Dollar Suits

A little Tuesday humor from Mike:

Bubba and Billy Ray are from Arkansas visiting a relative in Texas. Walking along Sam Houston Street, they see a sign which reads, “Suits $5.00 each, shirts $2.00 each, trousers $2.50 per pair.”

Bubba says to his pal, “Billy Ray, Look! We could buy a whole lot of those, and when we get back to Arkansas, we could make a fortune. Now when we go into the shop, you be quiet, okay? Just let me do all the talking cause if they hear our accent,they might not serve us. I’ll speak in my best Texas drawl.”

They go in and Bubba says, “I’ll take 50 suits at $5.00 each, 100 shirts at $2.00 each and 50 pairs of trousers at $2.50 each. I’ll back up my pickup and …..”

The owner of the shop interrupts, “You’re from Arkansas, aren’t you?”

“Oh, yes,” says a surprised Bubba. “How come you know that?”

The owner says, “This is a dry-cleaners.”

Design Change

The design here is like the weather in Texas, if you don’t like it, wait five minutes for it to change again. Comments are appreciated! RSS users yawn and don’t even notice…

Update: I’ve gotten some comments that it looks a lot like Metafilter, and I see the similarities, mainly with the background color and story titles. The actual inspiration for this was that I ran across a page I did last year for a scholarship contest. I liked the way the black and blue looked, and as soon as I got some time I whipped this up. On second examination, the similarities are really superficial, and I think I’m going to stick with this design for a while. I’m going to try and tweak it though so the date/title to text offset isn’t so similar to Mefi. Any thoughts? The reactions so far have been positive.

Kitty Update

Well we transferred Helsa from the hospital to her regular vet today. She was perfectly behaved the entire way over and she acted very normal. The vet said they’ll probably leave her on IV the rest of today, but they’re going to keep feeding her with a syringe (as opposed to a feeding tube) and if she keeps it down then she might be able to come home as soon as tomorrow or Wednesday! I couldn’t be happier. Thank you to everyone who sent kind words of support.

If Architects…

This had me rolling:

Dear Mr. Architect:

Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion. My house should have somewhere between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of
what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.

Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don’t have nearly enough insulation in them).

As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)

Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.

To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure that you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.

Please don’t bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the house: get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of
the carpet. However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.

Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours.

While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers.
Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like the features this house has. I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor’s house he constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like in our new home, particularly the
75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house without impacting the final cost.

Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for
construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of
later design changes.

You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that can’t happen very often. Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.

PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I’ve given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can’t handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect.

PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.

NT Stands for…

Just saw this interesting snippet:

During a trip to Microsoft’s Redmond campus this week, I had the opportunity to meet with Mark Lucovsky, one of the original architects of Windows NT. We had a long discussion about NT’s development and evolution; one of the more fascinating tidbits he revealed was that NT doesn’t, in fact, stand for New Technology, as documented in books such as “Showstoppers” and “Inside Windows NT” (Microsoft Press, 1992). Instead, the name comes from the earliest days of the product’s development, when Microsoft designed NT to use the Intel i860, a RISC processor. In those days, Intel’s chip was behind schedule, so Microsoft had to use an i860 emulator called the N10. NT was so named because it worked on the “N-Ten.”

Lazy Night

Interesting day, woke up early (for me) to head to Fry’s and pick up some computer parts, then headed straight to HPUG. Once I got to HAL-PC by luck Cheryl (leader of the Web-Tech SIG) was giving away a 1.4GHz Athlon box and I nabbed that; there’s something wrong but I suspect it’s just the power supply. It has a really nice motherboard with RAID too so this will be perfect for my Linux file-server box.

Later tonight I took Joe his new Athlon XP box I built for him, and it’s running really great. When the sound card comes in he’s going to have a very nice setup. It’s surprisingly fast and it reminded me that I really need to upgrade my processor on my desktop, more so now that I’m doing .NET development stuff on it. (More on that later.)

Tonight after some testing I finally upgraded the server to PHP 4.3 and MySQL 4.0.10, and things are running beautifully.

What I’ve been avoiding writing about (and thinking about) is the part of today that wasn’t technology related. Helsa had to be taken to the Vet Hospital because she started throwing up several times and also apparently sometime between last night and this morning her skin got this yellow tint. The doctor said that she isn’t in any pain, but because she lost weight so fast her liver is probably overloaded with fat. They don’t know why she stopped eating in the first place, and we have no clue. They did blood tests, an ultrasound, and x-rays, and hopefully we’ll have some better data to know what’s going on. The doctor was very optimistic, so I’m feeling better about things, but it was still painful to se Helsa like that. They’re going to get some fluids and food in her through IV so that should help as far as the liver is concerned. It sounds like if they can get her body some nutrients so it stops trying to process the fat, that will help the liver. The only problem is that “fatty liver” is generally symptomatic of something else, and we haven’t determined the deeper cause.

Late Night

Last night got started late, and went even later. We got to watch one of my all-time favorite movies, Zoolander. I think it’s a very underappreciated film, as it works on a lot of levels and people are apt to dismiss it as a shallow movie without giving it a chance. The DVD had some neat features too that I think made it worth it. Which brings me to the question of the day: Does anyone ever watch the director’s commentary?

Well I’ve got to go get ready for the HPUG meeting today, and also I’ve got to try to fix my Dad’s m505 which is currently sufferinf from Sudden USB Death Syndrome. The battery has been draining all night so it should be good to go now.

X-Files Mark

Out of the blue, my Mom asked me what was that strange mark on my neck, and I had no clue. A quick trip to the mirror revealed what looks like a large bite right on my adam’s apple, which is quite conspicious. Mom examined it, and said it looked like a spider bite or something similar. Great. Is this sweet revenge on the part of spiders? When did this spider bite me? Why didn’t I notice? Will it make me buff? So many unanswered questions.

Benefits of Caching

All around blogspace, blogrolls are down as it seems rpc.blogrolling.com isn’t responding to requests, even though the main site is still working. All I had to do was increase the $cacheminutes variable in my script to a high number and now it’s returning the cache from the last time it was up. I need to make it so it does that automatically, but that’s a task for when I have more juice left in my laptop.

Five Thousand!

Well I am proud to announce that the photolog has reached a great milestone: over 5,000 publicly viewable photos are now online. The champagne is flowing freely at the photomatt.net world headquarters. If you haven’t been in a while, I just put up two portrait series, some fun stuff, and some narratives. I’m looking forward to the H-Town Blog get-together tonight.

Menu Updates

As you have probably noticed by now, the menu looks quite different than it did before. The markup is still exactly the same, it’s just the lists have been styled with CSS to make them appear more like a navigation menu and less like, well, lists. I have also coded a new feature that when the less frequently updated sections of the site get updated or have a new item added, that menu item will be emphasized for twenty-four hours. Let me know any thoughts on the new updates.

Strange Mozilla Bugs

Well before I was delivering application/xhtml+xml to all Gecko-based browsers, but there seems to be a bizarre problem with Mozilla on this page. I had been doing my Gecko testing in Phoenix, which has no problems at all, and is now the only browser receiving the proper content-type for XHTML 1.1. Mozilla 1.0.1, 1.2, and 1.3a all seriously mess things up. First it shows the hostile XML error when it loads the page, which I brought on myself by putting it into super-strict mode, but the problem is there are no errors. I’ve triple-checked the page, and everything validates. It reports the error at a different place every reload, and it points to a random line from inside the blogroll, which is just basic XHTML. Then completely randomly it will show the page, but then stop displaying the content div after the “M” in the third paragraph from the last post, but then it shows the menu, which is after that in the code. When I change the content-type to be sent as text/html it displays every time, but still stops at the same place. Wait, as I’ve been writing this it looks like it’s working again in Mozilla, but only with the old content-type. Sigh. Hat tip: Mike Little.

Semantically Correct Blogroll

In tweaking the structure of things here in my quest for perhaps the perfect(ly structured) weblog I came to the problem of the blogroll, which is obviously a list but there is no obvious way to format it in list format (I know that’s the XHTML2 module documentation but it’s well-written and applicable). What follows is an explanation of how to create a semantically correct blogroll. I am a paid subscriber to the service, so there may be options available to me that aren’t available to everyone, or you may just need to do things a little differently to get the same result.

  1. First you can’t have anything in the first prepended or appended to updated links, because as we will see in a moment these are actually put outside the link "goodies" we’re going to play with later. So leave that blank. You can order your links however you’d like, I used to have them alphabetical but now that I’ve lost the visual indication of recently updated ones I’ve ordered them using the "Recent" option. (Should I be using an ordered list because of this? I haven’t decided yet)
  2. Set there to be no container, we’re going to have to make our own container in a minute.
  3. Originally I had thought that the opening and closing list item tags (<li>) could be put in the link "goodies" section, but it doesn’t work like expected, so for right now use the contributer only "Optional Linebreaks" option and put </li> in the field.
  4. For global targets I set it to "NOTARGET" but you may or may not need/want to depending on your personal philosophy on this issue.
  5. In the "Link Goodies" section prepend <li> to the link.
  6. You’re done! Almost. Check out what we have so far.

We’re not quite done yet, because we don’t actually have a list yet, all we have is a set of list items with no enclosure. This will work with lazy UAs, but it’s not correct. To enclose it I’m going use a modified version of the PHP method given on the site for including the blogroll, but if you don’t feel like you need the extra feature I’m going to lay out, you can just wrap the output from the stock script above in a ordered or unordered list tag.

Mike Little just dropped his blogroll in favor of his own link manager. He may be biased, but the issue he brought up of the blogrolling server provoked some thought. In terms of features, there’s no reason why I shouldn’t be using Mike’s script, but what really keeps me coming back to blogrolling is the community features, which aren’t easily duplicated without (you guessed it) a large community. So with that in mind, I began to think of ways I could cache things on my end, thereby making things easier on the blogrolling server and faster on my end. Two benefits that come to mind immediately is that it will eliminate an unnecessary request on the client-side (I’m using the javascript version currently.) and that the blogroll can be gzipped with the rest of my page for clients that support it. Here is the code I’m currently using. The code can either be embedded directly or included from another file. It caches using the unique blogroll id, so multiple blogrolls should not be a problem.

Also please don’t think that formatting your blogroll as a proper list entails having it look boring, the power of CSS allows you to customize the look of your list like never before, and though my blogroll isn’t styled (yet) the button-looking menus on your right are actually unordered lists. In fact, you will have more control over the appearance now that your blogroll is formatted as a list than if it was just a paragraph seperated by line breaks. If you have any questions about this leave a comment and I’ll be happy to help out. Of course Jason could add a list option tomorrow and make everything but the cache redundant. C’est la vie!