Category Archives: Humor

Things that made me laugh.

Standards Jokes

You’ll either find this incredibly funny or find it incredible that anyone could find this funny. From the HTMLDog Dogblog:

Q: Why did the XHTML actress turn down an Oscar?
A: Because she refused to be involved in the presentation.

Q: Why was the font tag an orphan?
A: Because it didn’t have a font-family.

Q: Why do CSS designers have too many children?
A: Because they employ lots of child selectors.

Q: Why was IE5’s 3-metre wide cell in the insane asylum smaller than IE6’s 3-metre wide cell?
A: Because the width of the cell included the padding…

Q: Why was the XHTML bird an invalid?
A: Because it wasn’t nested properly.

There are a few more in the comments over there. This made my day.

Only In Texas

Just in time for the Superbowl, Homer Simpson let loose on US nuclear weapons facility.

In the first incident, highly-skilled operatives inadvertently drilled into the warhead’s core, provoking a full-scale evacuation of Pantex. They later made a second Chernobylesque blunder by bodging a highly-explosive warhead part back together with tape.

Had they subsequently dropped the component, the likely outcome would have been a “violent reaction”, with “potentially unacceptable consequences”, as safety board chairman John T. Conway rather conservatively put it.

Hat tip: evilbunny on #hwug.

Just Like Mom

I’m a little late, but Evan Goer wrote a characteristically funny post and it looks like his mother left a comment that had me rolling in laughter, mostly because I could see my mom saying the exact same thing.

I followed your link to Chordiant’s home page, and I couldn’t figure out exactly what your new company does based on its self-description–other than it involves attractive women looking at computer screens. Still, I have no doubt that you will help them do it better.

I better get to sleep before this storm comes through and knocks me offline again. I have so much posting to do but it’ll have to wait until at least tomorrow. In the mean time oogle some pictures.

Whoops

Someone really messed up on this one:

Dear Evite Newsletter Subscriber,

Yesterday we mailed a newsletter to our subscribers with incorrect dates for three important Holidays. Please accept our sincerest apologies for these errors and note the following corrections:

Labor Day, September 1st
Rosh Hashanah, September 27th
Yom Kippur, October 6th

In addition, we also wish to apologize for having listed Yom Kippur as one of our “Reasons To Party”. We understand and respect that Yom Kippur is a Day of Atonement, a day to be taken seriously to reflect and fast, and as such, one of the most important Jewish Holidays in the year.

Emphasis mine.

Lucky Bear

Why Josh is the coolest ever:

So in my normal browsing I occassionally come across things that are humorous and I share with whoever I’m chatting with at the time. Via Ad Rag I came across this picture that I accompanied with the commentary “lucky bear.”

Snuggles bear sitting on a boat with a pretty model

Fifteen minutes later Josh comes back with this:

Snuggles bear with my face on top of it sitting with pretty model

However contrary to popular opinion that is not where I’ve been the past few days. That’s a whole other story.

CSS: The Gathering

So the other day I was over at Josh’s house helping him out with some CSS for his new site, fatalifswallowed.com. Now I know what you’re thinking, what’s an “alif,” why is it overweight, and why are they wallowing around? I wish I had the answers, but I don’t. Maybe there will be answers on the site, so you should go check it out.

Anyway, as a bit of friviolity to start your week with, here is the official Matthew Charles Mullenweg Magic the Gathering card, available in limited quantities only. What really cool is he did it so it’s on actual Magic card paper, and there are also a lot of nice details. Go Josh.

The Matthew Mullenweg Magic Card

For those wondering, it’s a black card because apparently deep down I’m evil. That is all.

Waiting For Fries to Catch Up

As I write this I am eating “Cool Guacamole” chips. Yes, chips flavored with guacamole. This is not the first time I’ve encountered this, as I had some tostada chips that were almost just like this before. Does anyone else find this trend of rolling common condiments into what they’re used with disturbing? Before we know it we’ll have ketchup-flavored French freedom fries, milk-flavored cookies, and, God forbid, pre-mixed peanut butter and jelly. Oh wait…

Peaks and Valleys and Belly-Buttons

I don’t usually like to discuss traffic, but here goes. Over the relatively short history of this website there have been a number of peaks in the traffic here, usually coinciding with some particular event. The first big surge came with the MTCurly plug-in, which is now really starting to show its age. However a single link from Todd Dominey had the counters rolling. Then there was quiet in the land, and I slowly but surely built up a readership of people searching for “enron women nude” and other interesting things. And then of course there’s Tantek, Christine, Jeffrey, Kathy, and Rannie.

Then came my pilgrimage to South by Southwest, and as a result of meeting people and posting summaries of the sessions, my hits rose predictably. At least until this picture showed up in Kottke’s link blog and had my head spinning and the counter rolling.

More recently, two incidents have made me rethink my entire approach to blogging. First my blog was invaded by the French. I’m not kidding. If anyone can tell me what this means I would greatly appreciate it, because all I know is it links to a photo of the lovely Sarah C. with one of my keys. Since then a number of comments have been left on various pictures of Sarah that say things like “Sensualité.” Speculation has run wild, especially since no one I know can get a good translation of the text, but the general consensus is that Sarah is secretly some sort of underground “entertainment” star in France and her rabid fans somehow stumbled across this site.

But today was the day that broke all the rules. I was expecting a bit of traffic from the new stuff but it came instead from a surprising source. Yes, I’ve been Barlowed.

Anyway, this is all tangential to what I’ve been trying to say the entire time, my new revelation. The whole writing thing has been done. People don’t need another interesting website, they’ve got so many of those they line them up like cattle in aggregators and extract their content in such a manner as to get through as many as possible. What the world is really thirsting for is web celebrity paparazzi. You want scandalous pictures of the web personalities you know and love, and I want to give them to you. We can have the exposé pictures, something like Tantek using Safari; the scandal photos, which could involve pretty much any situation with a certain blonde SxSW panelist; and finally the relationship tracker, where to start, there are tons of these going around.

I see untold dozens of dollars waiting to be tapped in this nascent market. Obviously this is too large a task for me alone, so any help would be greatly appreciated. I’m also curious to hear some thoughts on this. How long before we see Josh Davis while standing in line at the supermarket?